For some reason the last month or so has been a reflection time for me, not just of this year but of the last several years. In reflecting I have realized that I had an love that I lost, due in part to not having action behind my words. I have put into action, on some levels, a love for myself by working through things that have been hard and to others may have seemed selfish, in order to get to a place where I can say I love myself. I put into action the love I wanted to have as a mother to a child and worked to get Isaiah. And now I put into action everyday my love for him to make sure he knows love is not simply a noun. Do I put enough action behind it where he is concerned...I hope so, but I think there is always room to improve.
I have loved myself enough to stop putting action behind the word with some people in my life and have let them go. I have been thankful for the part they played in my life, recognized the blessings they brought to me, and I hope I brought to them, realized that the parting is sometimes sweet, sometimes not and sometimes just slips away over time without either person really doing anything. I have also realized how little action I have put behind love with some people and hope that this year I can right the wrong I have done. That it is not enough to sign a card, email or FB post with "love ya" and hope they know what they mean to me.
"I love you" was a hard thing for me to say for a long time and now it has become to easy. This year I want to find the balance. I want it to be a bit harder to say, I want there to be deliberate action to back up the words....I want people in my life that I love to experience it, not just hear it. So to the people in my life that I love, those that are new in my life, those that have been around a while, and those that I have forgotten to nurture because I "assume" you know I love you, this year I hope to do better. I hope that at least in some small way you feel the "action" of my love on a fairly regular basis.
Here is what love has come to look like in my home...What does it look like in yours? Are your "I love you's" filled with action?
2 comments:
beautiful!
What a thoughtful, inspiring post, Jenn. Thank you for your candor and insight. I love that you are thinking about doing a vision board (I've been cutting images and words out for mine for the last week). As I read your thoughts on love and balance, I was also reminded that every year I choose a word to direct my year. Perhaps love or balance (or both) are words for you for this year. So sorry to read about Isaiah's injury-- yikes! Sending y'all hugs. Rosie
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