This last weekend my mom came for a visit. She lives in Idaho so we don't get to see her often. While the time was too short we had made sure to enjoy every minute. Little man loves his grammie and was sad to see her go.
...any of those can make a day hard when I have all three at the same time it makes for an exhausted momma. I don't discuss the SPD very often, not for any shame, for in person I will gladly talk about it, discuss it, strategize with you. But here on a blog it can be such a misunderstood diagnosis and it looks so different for everyone.
But tonight in my exhaustion I will talk because right now I am not sure which of the three is causing the trouble or are they all feeding each other. He is 2 1/2 which means life is a challenge for him and I. He is growing right now, I feel like I can almost see him getting taller everyday :)
For 10 months we have worked with an OT and DT to help handle the SPD and have made such progress. Then this last week and a half it seems to have all unraveled. I know that is not true, just a moment of fatigue and emotions. But for the last several nights it has taken almost 2 hours to get him to sleep. That is after bedtime routine.
Little man sleeps with a weighted blanket, we have a rocking chair and we have done all that. Sleep finally comes him swaddled in a 12 lb weighted blanket (on his 25 lb body) , me holding him against my body; pressure coming from me and the blanket, music or me talking, him listening to my heartbeat and frantically sucking on a binky. (I tried to take the binky away at 2 and again in June, but the sucking calms the anxiety caused by his body feeling out of control.) The other night he dissolved into tears complaining "momma I tired make the legs stop" and I feel helpless. Last night he put on shoes to sleep. more pressure on his feet. He is a sensory seeker.
So tonight I laid him on me, blanket on top of both of us, tv on (which is normally not ever a way he gets to fall asleep) and tried to calm my breathing, tried to not think of all that needed to get done and just be in the moment with my son. He was exhausted, so wound today he didn't nap at the babysitters, and he fell asleep close to his normal time. Snuggled under the weight of the blanket and pressure of my arms. Tonight it worked well and I didn't feel so helpless.
Tomorrow is a new morning and maybe with enough sleep tonight things will start to even out for him. In the meantime I try and remember that no matter how tired I am it is worse for him, the out of control feeling has got to be worse.
Not a very uplifting title I know, but it is where my head is right now.
Sometimes life is hard and I am not talking about just life for me. The economy is making it hard on lots of people, there are illnesses, and trauma (current and past) that families are dealing with, there are lots of things that can make life "hard".
There are also things that make life simple and beautiful, good friends and family, a support system that is unbelievable, a smile from a your child, the feeling of the little hand reaching to hold yours as you walk, a good phone conversation and the list could continue.
I try to focus on all the things that make life simple and beautiful and not dwell on those that are making it hard. Sometimes easier said than done :)
Okay it has been a very long time since I posted a blog and there is lots for me to say. But for tonight I wanted to just post a few pictures. We have been a family for 19 months now. Here are some pictures we went and took to celebrate 18 months together and him being 2 1/2!