This is a post that can bring up lots of emotions for me and even sometimes for Little Man.
Home is a word that is suppose to bring images of safety, warmth, care, and love to mind. It is the difference between a home and a house.
I will never forget the first pictures I saw of the Care Center where Little Man was waiting for me. And my trip to visit the Care Center will always be in my mind. For most of the images I have of Little Man as an infant he is either laying on a large bed with many babies or laying in a crib with 2 other babies. Eventually as he gets bigger he is sitting on the floor or in a stroller. I have pictures of him being held during the preparation of coffee for a coffee ceremony. Pictures of him receiving the gifts I sent. But I don't believe this was life everyday.
Home is a word that is suppose to bring images of safety, warmth, care, and love to mind. It is the difference between a home and a house.
I will never forget the first pictures I saw of the Care Center where Little Man was waiting for me. And my trip to visit the Care Center will always be in my mind. For most of the images I have of Little Man as an infant he is either laying on a large bed with many babies or laying in a crib with 2 other babies. Eventually as he gets bigger he is sitting on the floor or in a stroller. I have pictures of him being held during the preparation of coffee for a coffee ceremony. Pictures of him receiving the gifts I sent. But I don't believe this was life everyday.
There were many babies and many older kids to care for and meet their needs and not always many nannies. Many times older kids, sibling or not, watched younger babies. Were his cries met when he got hurt or was hungry in the night? Was he held and talked to? I will never truly know how often he was held or the care he received while there. I know what the pictures tell me or at least what the pictures tell me was happening on the days families came to get their children.
I also know what it was like when he came home. I know when he cried there were no tears for a long time. I know that when he got hurt he didn't cry and had to be taught that response. I know that nights brought about terror and fear. I know that he had to be taught to drink a full bottle and learn that food would be plentiful. He will have no concrete memories of his time in the Care Center. Without pictures he likely won't be able to create an image of the place or the people there. But there is lasting effects that no one can see. Memories the brain and body hold on to. Memories of a home that wasn't always safe.
Today this is home. Home to him involves me, his cats, his bed and food that is plentiful. Home involves love and kind words, hugs and snuggles. It involves friends and a church family, "aunts" and "uncles". It involves safety and trust. Most importantly it is a place of healing.
#knittogetherbyadoption #adoptionawareness #loveknowsnoboundary
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| Babies on a bed |
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| 3 to a crib |
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| Coffee Ceremony |
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| The gates to the care center |
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