30 Days of Thanks Days 3, 4 & 5

Okay I need to get better about doing this every day….I will work on it!

Day 3-   I am thankful for the wonderful people at the church I attend. Not only are they fun to worship and be with, they are genuinely amazing people. They support me and Little Man.They make us feel welcome and at home and the honestly LOVE us like God taught. I love watching Little Man interact, play, giggle and pray with these people.


Day 4- I am thankful for the teachers I work with each and everyday. They lift me up and challenge me to grow as a person and a professional. I was proud to stand with them as we "walked in" to work yesterday. I am proud to share my passion of teaching, technology and kids with them everyday as mold the adolescents at our school.

Day 5-  Today I am thankful for the teachers at my Little Man's school. They are helping me for all those hours I am not there, raise and educate him. They are patient when they need to be and push when they need to as well. I am loving watching him grow and thrive at his school.

30 Days of Thanksful- Days 1 & 2

Day 1:
    I am thankful to Mr D and Adison. Two wonderful men who have taken on a mentor role for my Little Man. I teach with Mr D and he also teaches a Tae kwon do class two nights a week. His son Adison works with the Warriors group (4-8 year olds). They have taken brought Little Man in not just to the Tae Kwon Do class but to experience other new things. Last weekend they took him for his first fishing trip. So on day 1 of this 30 days I am thankful for these two who are willing to do things with my Little Man.  Who are willing to be amazing male role models for him!

Proud of his catch

Fishing with Mr D

Day 2:

  Today I am thankful for care packages. Little Man and I were blessed with an amazing care package from a friend in CA today. It contained a quilt and a cross, made by people in her church. It was sent as a reminder of the comfort, love and support we have as we struggle through tough times and smile through the good times. Thanks Mrs Shirley for loving us from a far and for today making that distance seem a little smaller.

Care package cross and blanket
Safety and sleep 

Blessed

  The last several days have been filled with blessings and I am taking the time to count them right now!   I have recently let myself get caught up in negative thinking and worry so tonight I focus on the positive!

Blessing # 1    Little Man finished school last week and got a wonderful end of year "report card." He has shown growth in almost every area. There are a few of his scores that just made me chuckle at, like apparently he doesn't want to help clean up at school. I asked him why..his response " mommy at home it is you and me and I help there. In class there are lots of people to help the teacher clean up." Just had to shake my head. He is growing so much!

 Blessing # 2   Now because his school ended and mine has not there were a few days I had to figure out care for him  before his camp started. A wonderful teacher that I work with offered a while ago to watch him for me if I ever need it, so I asked her if she wanted to have some Little Man time for a couple days. She happily said yes and spent two days caring for him while I was at work. They had a blast. In face the first day when I came home he was "mad" I was home and that Ms R was going home! It was kind of cute, he crossed arms and stomped upstairs telling me to go away. He went to bed that night and got up the next morning double checking she was coming back...think he developed a little crush!

Blessing # 3   Those words you didn't even know you needed to hear but once they are voiced make such an impact on you. Friday afternoon Little Man and I got to spend some time socially with some people I work with. Now one of the people who was there has seen him since he was about 18 months old, which was about 6 months after we came home! As we were sitting at the table talking, she said to me "Wow he has grown so much. It is amazing what school and everything has done for him." She continued to go on and be more specific about things that she saw as growth and even mentioned that she wanted to share a little with "her man" so he would know how amazing it was to see Little Man like he was that night. She is well aware of all that we have and are going through, but I am not sure she has any idea how much those words, her observations and comments meant to me. I think all parents like to hear that their kids are growing, but as a momma of a child from a trauma background to have someone comment on his "growth" is sometimes all the encouragement you need to keep going down the tough roads. Thank you Tonya for the comment, for noticing..for giving me, probably totally unknowingly, a light to keep holding on to when there are dark moments.

Blessing # 4  Living like family! Little Man and I got a chance to spend some good quality time with an awesome family at church yesterday and today. We spent the day/night with them yesterday and had so much fun. I am always so grateful for the time with them. On top of having us over for the day, we stayed over night and they helped cover the last day of care I needed for Little Man. On top of them helping, two other amazing women from my church came and played a part. One of them was already planning on watching their two kids today while they were at work, with a little conversation another friend and her one month old son came over to add and extra pair of hands so that Little Man could add into the mix of care. That meant that for a time period there were 2 four year olds, a one year old and a one month old! Vickie and Megan I can't thank you enough for being willing to help and add Little Man into the mix today. To the Aguilar family, thank you for opening your home to add us in yesterday and today. Upon giving a thank you "gift" I was quickly informed that is what living like family means. Yes, it is! Thanks for loving us like family and reminding me how my "family" is growing!

I am blessed! Life may have some tough moments and I may be in the midst of them in several areas right now, but if I take the time I am reminded that there are more blessings to count if I just take the time!

Water play with friends today!

20 days...beauty...where do you see it?

   Last night I attended a friends' wedding. I don't get dressed up with hair and makeup done often, but it is fun to do when I get the chance. People tell me I should do it more frequently, but it is generally laziness on my part that keeps me from doing it :) I admit it.  So this is how I looked last night

Looking at this picture I think it has finally really hit me how much hair I will be shaving off in 20 days.   I have a lot of hair :) I have wondered since I started this process and people have questioned me, if it was about me losing my hair or the perception from society about women and hair.

Last night I got a little sad about the fact that I would be bald. I wondered if people would have complimented me as much with no hair as they did with long curly hair. (Don't get me wrong I know my friends compliments are genuine and lots of them are about the beauty of me as a person enhanced by me being dressed up and done up!) But as I sat in that thought for a minute I remembered the teenage girl battling cancer getting ready for a school dance or her prom and having no hair. Or the elementary aged girl whose friends have pigtails and braids when she can't. I can't imagine how unbelievably  hard that scenario is for those girls or their parents.

It is easy for me in my mid thirties to decide to shave my hair. To chose to face societies looks, stares, comments and questions about being bald. It is easy for me to say hair is just hair and it grows back. But I am not the one losing it as a side effect of medicine. I am not losing my hair providing a daily reminder as I look in the mirror of the battle being waged inside my body.

So while I am nervous and I am sure when I see all the hair gone will be a little sad and maybe even emotional, it is minute as compared to all the kids battling cancer. So friends  I have a challenge, if you see a child, male or female, young or old whose is bald take the time to tell them they are beautiful! Make them smile.

Donate if you will to help Child Cancer research
http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/579066/2013

Thirty Days of Thankful- Day 30

Day 30

Today is the last official day of my posts, but I have learned so much over the last 30 days as I have posted. Most days I have had to struggle with which thankful thing to post and not struggled to think of what to post. For the last 30 days I have found myself remembering and appreciating all the small things in life that I so often just overlook.

Today I am thankful for this little boy:

Little Man alone has enriched my life immeasurably, but when you add on all the people that have come into my life because of this adoption I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I am going to attempt to give thanks to lots of people I did not specifically thank as this month passed.

Lisa & Nate, Audrey & Byron , Monica, Laura, Glynnis & Joe, Brenna & John and Jim: My travel group, these people were there with my in Ethiopia. We were all becoming parents, some of us for the first time and others were experienced. But new parent or experienced this was a group of people that I am thankful to call Little Man and I's extended family. They were my rocks, sounding boards, shopping companions, source of laughter during our time in Ethiopia. I am thankful everyday for the beauty and diversity of this group.

Jen M- My daily email/phone buddy. I am so glad that the timing of our processes worked out as they did that we would be there to support each other all along the way. I was so sad that you were sick at travel time. But am forever thankful for your support through day to day wait, court difficulties, travel anxiety, and all the new mommy trials. I am blessed that we got to meet and share a "birthday" celebration of our boys not long after coming home. Thank you for always listening and never judging!

Janet- My amazing adoption coordinator and friend. You walked me through this, holding my hand and being the calm voice on the other end of the phone. You cried with me when court was not successful and rejoiced at the day I became a mom. I am so glad we live close enough that you can be a part of this precious boy and I's lives. God certainly knew what he was doing when he led me to you. Thank you for just being you!

Sarah T- Wow girl not sure where to begin...my late night phone buddy. We had our first court date together and shared the disappointment of it not happening. I rejoiced as you passed the next go round and appreciated your support of my tears as I did not. You are the sister I have not met, yet! Thank you for trusting me when things are hard and for listening to me when things here are hard. Thank you for the laughter and the tears we have shared for over two years on the phone. A meeting has to happen..SOON.

Rosie and Jillian- The two of you have helped me keep my sanity. You provided pictures of little man for me from before he was even mine. You support me as I navigate these times, believing me about the hard and never doubting the words I say. You have trusted me to be a part of your guys families and have welcomes little man and I into your families. God has certainly blessed me by making sure the two of you were here in NC with me, a bit of a tease that you are both a couple of hours in opposite directions of me :)

The rest of the IAG group- The pictures, the updates and the support we gave each other while waiting, when we came home and even now years later. There were times that were tough and things we had questions about, but it is through this agency that you are all a part of my life and that my son is my son and so I am eternally grateful.

There are so many friends that were in my life during the process and I am thankful for their support. Many of them are still in my life, some of them are not but whether they are standing by me today or not I am thankful for the part they played in the story.

Little Man- You have taught me to trust, to believe that regardless of how hard this moment is that the joy that comes next makes it all worthwhile. You have taught me to slow and listen to the crow caw, to see the workers on the street as we drive by, to notice the puddle that is calling to be jumped in and the shiny rock that wants to be in your pocket. You have shown me that while love is not always enough it the only place to start to heal. When your little hand reaches to hold mine, the world stops. When you suck your lips in, say they are missing, and then give me a kiss so you can "find" them again, my heart explodes. When the dark is scary and you say "mom I need your bed because it is safe there", I melt. I am so thankful that I get to be your mom, that I get to kiss the hurts away, that I get to witness the healing that is taking place. Thank you little man for the gift of you and the friends you have brought into my life.

Thirty days of Thankful- Day 16

Day 16

Today I am thankful for friends who are up for an adventure with me. Early this morning I packed little man and his best friend in my car and headed toward Florida. It was actually a fun drive, the boys were SOOOO good, entertaining each other along the way and even taking pretty good naps in the car at the same time. They were so excited to get to Florida and see Palm Trees! While I was driving these two little boys, my friends were getting their work done and getting on planes to meet me down there. My friend Lauren arrived first from PA, getting to Florida at about an hour before us and then Tarsha arrived at about 7. I am so thankful for friends who are ready to attempt Florida and Disney with two little boys!

Thirty Days of Thankful- Day 13

Day 13

Today I am thankful for dinner with friends. We didn't get dressed up and go out, we didn't even go out we just stayed home. But it is so nice to have an evening with friends. Our kids playing with each other and all sitting down to eat. Laughing at the silly kids and the silly adults.

I grew up always sitting down as a family for dinner and little man and I always sit and eat, but it adds something extra to have more people. Little man can be a little silly when there is a friend at the table, but I don't mind not when I get to see that little mischievous smile and giggle when he is with his friend. It is also nice to have some adult conversation when eating :)

Thirty Days of Thankful- Day 10

Day 10

Tonight after a fun evening out I came home to a FB post that was some OLD pictures from my days working at Space Camp. I was instantly filled with love, laughter and a bit of sadness. For over 10 years every summer I packed my life up and moved to Alabama for the summer to work at Space Camp. I worked with kids and adults and made many lasting friendships. The years I spent working with the teacher program at Space Camp gave me a family, several of us came back year after year to be together and work this amazing program and even some of the campers became staff. We have been there for each others weddings, bar mitzvahs, heartaches and new family members. We are scattered across North America and even though we have not all been together in a while I know that when we are, we will pick up like no time has passed. I miss them all terribly, they have enriched my life in so many ways. I am saddened a little at the thought that none of the staff have been able to meet little man yet as our schedules have been so crazy, but I have felt their love through it all and received so many virtual hugs and kind words from them. I am so blessed by the friendships I made with the "campers" and how many of them have been able to meet little man.

So today I am thankful for the laughs, the tears, the hugs, the love of my Space Camp family, staff and campers. The wacky people that are in my life because of Space Camp and the never ending support that I receive from them. They are the family I have chosen and that I chose every summer to be with for lots of years. Several of us now have kids and many of us are now married, but it just means our family has grown. Time for a reunion I think! I love all of you and miss you all dearly!

Friends are the family we choose!

I have long held that to be the truth and as this past year has proven it is more and more accurate for my life.

I live on the opposite coast of my family. Yes, by choice and no, not because my family and I don't get along. Actually my family and I get along just fine, but I took an opportunity to grow personally and professionally and moved across the country. Do I miss having my family down the street? Of course I do. But being here has been a great experience. I have had the opportunity to "grow" my family.

My "family" of friends is large, diverse slightly dysfunctional, wonderfully eccentric and all the colors of the rainbow. We are a family of many religions, a variety of backgrounds and political beliefs. We argue, disagree, laugh, love, cry, share the good times and the bad times. We support each other when others don't. We challenge each other to grow. And like a family we may not always like each other, but we always love each other.

I am blessed by my family of friends. They make the days brighter and the load a little lighter.

Thank you family, blood and chosen for all the love and support you give me.